In an exclusive interview with Those Who Deserve To Die director, Bret Wood, Alice and I talk about her adoption and how the Malice of Alice project helped us create an everlasting bond:
This is just little glimpse at the foster-to-adopt process we went through in order for Alice to become a part of our family, forever... for always... and no matter what.
Alice Lewis and the Fairly Odd Parents
Once upon a time there lived a girl. This girl was very shy, emotional, somewhat odd and a good bit silly. She fell in love with a boy. This boy was quiet, confident, somewhat odd and obnoxiously rational. They decided that since they both loved Jesus, Harry Potter, and each other that they should get married. So they became man and wife. It was a fairytale wedding… quite literally. Wings included.
After many years of wedded bliss and many years of struggling to communicate, they grew weary of the excessive amounts of time together. Being able to see movies and play games and take naps whenever they wanted had become mundane. They wondered what they could do to fill the void of the endless hours of doing whatever they wanted. And then it came to them. A kid! It would be the perfect addition to their home. They could spend their endless hours feeding it, loving it and making it less sticky. But how would they get one? They could make one! But seeing as neither of them were do it yourselfers they decided to explore less painful, intrusive, and messy options. They could import one! They’d heard South Korea had some good ones, but after further investigation they learned that they were way out of their price range.
One day while researching more cost effective options the wife happened upon a story about a couple who were given a child. How did this happen? Where did their child come from? The wife had to know so she contacted the couple to learn their secrets. The lovely couple were so thrilled with the child they had received that they were willing to share their story with anyone who asked. The couple invited them to their home, fed them, entertained them, and unleashed vast amounts of information on them. The man and wife learned that the very state they lived in was giving kids away for FREE. All they had to do was let the state know they wanted one, learn how to care for one, fill out ten pounds of highly intrusive paperwork and then the state would present them with a vast assortment of children they could choose from. How wonderful! After teaching them everything they could the nice couple sent the man and wife on their way to begin their journey.
After a quick phone call letting the state know that they wanted a child the man and wife were invited to 20 hours of child care training. How exciting! They had no idea how to care for a child so they wanted to learn everything they could. Unfortunately, the training consisted of about 19 hours of learning to work in a team mixed with horror stories of disobedient children who flung poo. Thankfully, there was one hour of training that guided them to the next stop on their journey. They were sent home with their ten pounds of paperwork and told to make sure their house was safe for their future child.
The man and wife were so excited to begin their paperwork and home renovation that they went home and started right away. But after the third page of uncomfortable questioning they grew tired and decided to watch a movie. They’d come back to it another day. But the days turned into weeks and the weeks grew into months and the ten pounds of paper sat neglected while they worked and played and did whatever they wanted. But it could no longer be avoided. They knew there was a child out there that desperately needed them so they set aside their happiness and got to work. They answered every question and included information on the exact type of child they wanted. It would be a toddler too young to be damaged from their previous life but old enough to entertain them. And flinging poo would not be accepted. They put plugs in their outlets, locked up their knives, hid their hair spray, gave away their hot tub, and bubble wrapped every corner in their house. After several months of hard work they were finally ready.
They turned in all ten pounds of paperwork and informed the state that their house was the safest house on the block. They were on their way! Two days later the man and wife received a message from the lovely couple that had guided them on their journey. This message was about a little girl. This girl was 6, very silly, had beautiful blue eyes and needed a new home. It was love at first site. The man and wife decided they had to have this beautiful little girl. They wanted to love her, protect her, play with her and give her everything she needed. They no longer cared if she was damaged or flung poo. She was their Destiny and they would do anything to have her. And thus began the hardest part of their journey.
They told the state how much they wanted this little girl. All the state had to do was say “yes”. The problem was that the little girl lived in a different town as the man and wife and it was making everything very complicated. The state workers in the different towns didn’t like to work together and they were all so very busy with other important things to do. Meanwhile other families in the little girl’s town had learned about her and wanted to have her for their very own. The man and wife grew desperate and became very discouraged. They feared that the girl might be someone else’s Destiny. They prayed for her daily and hoped that no matter what happened she would find a happy, loving home soon – even if it would not be theirs. But providence shined down upon them and one day a state worker from the man and wife’s town came upon a state worker from the girl’s town. They shared stories about a little girl and realized they were both talking about the same one. They decided to schedule a special meeting with the man and wife to see if they were a good fit for the little girl.
On the day of the meeting the man and wife were very nervous. It had been months since they’d first heard of the girl and they were weary of waiting for answers. They knew that this fateful meeting would decide the next path of their journey. The two state workers arrived and the meeting commenced. The little girl’s state worker began by informing the couple everything she knew. They were told every good and bad detail about the little girl and her life. To the state worker’s surprise the man and wife were unphased by the girl’s history and behavior. They had already learned everything they could about the girl and knew they were willing to love and care for her through the good and the bad. After hours of questioning and discussion the state workers had finally come to a decision. The man and wife were deemed suitable for the little girl! They were ecstatic but so surprised by the state worker’s quick decision they hardly knew what to say. The state workers immediately scheduled for the man and wife to visit the little girl in three days. After many, many months of waiting and wondering they finally knew which direction their journey would take them. They spent the next few days crafting a book for the little girl to have that would introduce them to her in preparation for their first meeting. It told her all about the man and wife and their pets and included pictures of their home and the room the little girl would soon live in.
After the three days were up, the man and wife set out to meet the little girl. They were nervous, excited and terrified. Would the little girl like them? Would she want to be their child? What would her voice sound like? What would they say to each other? They arrived at their destination and looked around with anticipation for the little girl.
And then they saw her. She was so tiny and beautiful. They were mesmerized. They were thankful for the state worker that helped guide their conversation. Everyone was so scared and unsure of what to do or say. The little girl had brought along the book the man and wife had made for her and showed them every single page. She’d clearly read it many times and had so many questions about everything in it. The man and wife asked the little girl many things and tried to learn as much from her as they could. After a while of talking the state worker took the man and wife to the little girl’s home so she could show them where she lived. When they arrived they took a picture with the little girl and then followed her to her room. The little girl showed them her toys and her favorite things and read them one of her favorite stories. The man and wife presented the little girl with a small camera. They wanted her to be able to take pictures of the people who had been taking care of her and to let her know that they could still be in her life. And then they went on their way with plans to meet again the following day.
It was a Tuesday and the first time the man and wife would get to be with the little girl alone. They took her to a field and played ball and took pictures. They introduced her to one of their dogs and the little girl ran around and impressed them with her bravery and her cartwheels. They learned that the little girl was talkative, athletic, somewhat odd and liked anything that sparkled. She was silly and said everything that came to her mind. After that day the man and wife visited as much as possible until it was finally time for the girl to move to their home. Less than a month after their very first visit the little girl and the man and wife were under the same roof. The man and wife were now a father and a mother and the little girl was now their daughter.
The father and mother spent many months learning to love, care, and discipline their new daughter. The daughter spent many months learning to love, enjoy, and obey her new father and mother. It was evident from the beginning that God had designed them for one another. There were ups and downs, giggles and tears, ice cream and time-outs but they were committed to each other through thick and thin. Then finally, after only a few short months, the judge deemed them a family. Forever… for always… and no matter what. And the father, mother and daughter lived happily ever after and no poo was flung.